People have asked me how I dealt with losing weight and dealing with the pain of fibromyalgia. Honestly, the pain of FM wasn't half as bad as the pain I felt in my back where the degenerative disc and bulging discs were. The nerves they were pinching caused me more problems than some of the FM pain I was going through. Though, to be honest, they both equally sucked. It almost felt as if it was a waste of time losing weight in the first place.
Take into consideration with large amounts of weight loss (as this happened to me with the weight loss I went through) that your skeletal structure does go through a shifting of sorts. This does not help with the flare-ups of fibro. I was a hefty 375+ lbs. at my largest, and at my smallest I was down to 135lbs. Because of that dramatic loss my structure shifted in many areas that were unbearable. Knees, for example, were bent inwards (towards each other, and ankle stress was placed on the inside) at my heaviest. Once I lost the weight, my knees straightened out, as did my ankles, and I thought there was no pain like it in the world. My feet even shrunk some (they weren't as wide anymore, and I even went down in shoe size).
I had constant problems as my back and shoulders began to straightened out. I'm sure some of you are well aware of the posture of some obese people. They tend to either lean backwards very far, or (as I did) hunch their shoulders and lean forward, almost like they are trying to hide into themselves. It was more of a security thing for me. I tried to close into myself so that I could close off the world around me. My shoulders were pulled inward and forward, and I was hunched forward and kind of pulled into myself. I was embarrassed of myself. Anyway, because of this, there was a lot of different stresses put on my spine, and skeletal structure. It wasn't a fun ride.
I constantly felt like my decisions to lose weight, and ultimately make a lifestyle change, were wrong (as screwed up as that may seem) because I felt like I was now worse off than I was before the weight loss, even though that wasn't really the case. The pain was almost unbearable, but seriously in the end, I'd rather be healthier and dealing with my body adjusting to the weight loss pain, than the possibility of suffering a heart attack at the size I was at.
It's still an ongoing battle, emotionally, about weight. When I lost health insurance and consequently any medications I was on, my weight suffered some. Actually, since my car accident I've been having some weight issues. My lack of mobility since then has packed on a few pounds. What was a 135lbs went to 147lbs. Then I moved to Arizona and lost my health insurance. With all that depression, stress, and pain, I've eaten myself to about 160lbs. I'm embarrassed by it. I feel like I've let myself go, and look like hell. Yet, I can't really do much about it. I have no "good" days where I am not in pain. If there were, I'd be walking, doing Zumba, or something! I physically can't do it. Today I can barely put my right arm up over shoulder height. Makes stretching a bitch!
I've been going stir crazy. I want to walk the dogs. Not during the day. It's way too hot for them to do that. But, in the evenings when the sidewalks are cooler, I would like to be able to do stuff like that.
I feel useless. And kind of gross. Which makes me feel guilty for wanting a frozen yogurt right now.
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