To be honest, I haven't much to really write about today. My mind is a dull mush.
I did not sleep last night. I'm sure you're thinking to yourself that I'm exaggerating because it's a damn near impossibility for people to not sleep. Well, you're going to have to trust me on this. I did not sleep. The sad part was, I was so close to the warm embrace of sleep and then the crushing blow of back pain shooting from my lower back down into my legs which caused violent twitching inhibited me from ever finding my way back to the peacefulness of sleep for the rest of the evening.
To make matters even worse, I had an intense pain in my jaw and teeth from clenching. I've destroyed my teeth because of this, and partially due to acid reflux. I don't smile anymore.
I'm in a loop of a migraine that has intensified to the point that I should be taken to the hospital, but thanks to the UFCW and their insightful genius to drop me from their coverage because we moved from their Chicago local to their Phoenix local, I have no means of being able to get help in times like this. No medications that I used to be on to help me through these times. And no medical assistance to aid me when things have achieved the level of intensity they have reached right now. No, all I have is a big middle finger from the UFCW and the false hope that I might get health insurance coverage after waiting a year and a half after moving here, despite the promises from corporate offices that we would never have lost our coverage in the first place.
Come the end of July we will have been living here in Arizona a year. I will have been without medical help, coverage, medications, and necessary treatments I desperately need, for one year - I still have six months from there to have the possibility to be covered by the UFCW through my husband's work; possibility being key word there. I've been fighting for that entire time to get help, but it has fallen upon deaf ears. I can't get state health coverage because I am married and am not pregnant, and my husband makes too much a week at work (along with my Disability), despite the fact we are at poverty level of income. I am not eligible for Medicare through Disability for two years because that is now how the Government does things. I can't work. I need medical help / assistance, but can't afford it and the Government wont help me for two years. Make sense? No. Didn't think so.
Keep on the sunny side of life, I suppose.
I'm thinking that if tomorrow I'm feeling better, I will make crepes with sweet cheese for my husband. I want to do something nice for him. He always does nice things for me and deals so well with my being sick and me being unable to be a "normal" human. Plus, it gives me a chance to create in the kitchen. It's the one thing I love to do, where I don't feel judged by anyone.
I'll try and create tomorrow for him. And if Clara and Duff are good, maybe they'll get a crepe filled with delicious doggy delicacies (or wet dog food). If all turns out, I'll post the recipe.
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